What is Intimacy?

What is Intimacy?

Wiki says

An intimate relationship is a particularly close interpersonal relationship. It can be defined by these characteristics: enduring behavioral interdependence, repeated interactions, emotional attachment, and need fulfillment.Intimate relationships play a central role in the overall human experience. Humans have a universal need to belong and to love which is satisfied when an intimate relationship is formed. Intimate relationships consist of the people that we are attracted to, whom we like and love, romantic and sexual relationships, and those whom we marry and provide and receive emotional and personal support from.Intimate relationships provide people with a social network of people that provide strong emotional attachments and fulfill our universal needs of belongingness and the need to be cared for.”

The problem here is that men and women perceive intimacy differently. Take a moment and write down what feels intimate to you.

Max said that he thought spending one on one time with someone, going out to lunch, playing chess, sex, going to a movie together and things like that was intimate.

He said he felt intimacy on most days in his relationship.

In most relationships I feel intimacy only a few moments a week. Like  most women I see intimacy as opening up deeply. When a man tells me he loves me and I can FEEL that he FEELS it. Not just the many I love you’s that pass between couples  daily.

I also love it when we have had a deep perhaps even uncomfortable conversation and gotten through a tough spot. I feel we opened up and revealed something. That’s when I want to have sex or get closer. Of course most men at this point just want to decompress and thank god they are alive or they feel angry ( defensive) and not interested in being close.

Or when we are making love and my partner FEELS something in his heart and I see it in his eyes.

Women want to be adored, we want YOU to ask US how we FEEL about something and then we want you to really listen to it and try to understand. We do not want you to be our girlfriend..( well some women do) we want you to be our heros, we want you to know us better than our girlfriends.. that’s intimate.

Intimacy is a  deep knowing, our hearts, our bodies, our dreams and fears, and our souls.

I know, I know, how in the world will you ever speak this foreign language? We can help you., that’s why we are here.